Goodbye My Lover
by Sango luvz Miroku
Summary: Set after Breaking Dawn: Life has gone well for our favorite vegetarian family. One crisis was narrowly avereted yet another presents itself in the most sinister form.
1. Chapter 1 Times of Peace

It had been an entire half a month since the Volturi arriving in Forks, life for our family had resumed to as normal as life for a family of immortals could be.

Alice and I had returned from our self inflicted exile, running blindly into the open arms of our family. They took us back instantly, disregarding our departure as nothing but a dark chapter in our families history. Carlisle was just how I expected him to be; kind and understanding and warm. Bella was of course confused, but overwhelmed with joy when we arrived. Edward was ecstatic, though his demeanor didn't readily show it. Emmett and Rosalie were the same, they welcomed us back with enthusiastic smiles. And then there was Esme. Our mother for so many years. Facing her was one of the most difficult things I had ever attempted in my hundred-plus years of life.

She was so kind. So loving. Too loving. The fact that we crushed her heart when we left was not an easy thing to atone for. I went to her a few days after we got back, finding her in the study leaning over one of her sketch books. She looked up at me immediately jumping from the chair as I entered. She hurried forward, embracing me tightly with a soft whimper. As I stared down into her wide eyes I knew we were already forgiven. There was no need to apologize further, she had forgiven Alice and I long ago. She was just glad that we were home, and I was glad as well. I missed her warm emotions and her tight hugs. She was my mother after all, even if our blood line proved differently.

Our family was becoming just as we were before Reneesme's birth; happy and carefree and whole. It seemed as if our darkest period had finally passed and we could enjoy our endless lives once more.

Emmett, Edward and I still had our sibling battles, this time with a larger audience. Reneesme would sit on Bella's lap, cheering loudly for her father as he wrestled with Emmett. Sweet Alice would sit beside them, staring placidly at me with her warm grin. That was all the motivation I needed to show off just an extra bit. Rosalie and Esme would sometimes watch, muttering softly things like. 'Boys will be boys' and 'Typical.' Our family was so _normal_ compared to what one might expect from a group of vampires. And now even more members were becoming staples in our house.

Our extended family now included Jacob and his pack, as well as Bella's human father Charlie. The wolves were almost too comfortable in our home, it was a very strange sight. With the exception of Leah, the pack acted as if they were one of Carlisle and Esme's children as well. And Charlie.. Well he was Charlie.

He was still uncomfortable with the entire situation, as he should be with his teenage daughter now a mother as well as a vampire. But he had yet to learn of the other new title Bella wore. He would sit in the armchair watching Reneesme play with her parents or Alice or Esme, a polite smile planted on his face. Sometimes his eyes would flicker to me and I'd hear his heart quicken in his chest. A usual reaction. Had he had the eyes of a vampire he would have noticed all the scars littering my chalky skin. Then his aversion to me would become permanent. But that was to be expected. After all I was _still _a monster in his eyes, despite Alice's kind words about me to him.

It was an unescapable truth. I would always be a monster, my skin would always be scarred with teeth marks of my slain victims. This was to be the rest of my existence, but I could handle that as long as one woman was stil beside me.

My eyes locked on her as we sat in the living room, Jacob and Emmett watching a game on the T.V as Reneesme curled on Charlie's lap on the couch. I watched Alice dance across the floor, her short hair bouncing against her shoulders as she moved between Edward and Bella who watched her silently. She was so beautiful, so graceful. Something I was still shocked by after my decades of life with her. She was too perfect. Too perfect to be with one so damaged as me.

It was truly a miracle that she stayed with me as long as she did. Through good times and bad, floundering will power and success, she was always there. I would always tresure her faith and love in me, it was so pure and unhindered. Her warmth kept this dormant heart fluttering.

As I sat watching her dance around the living room, I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. My eyes ticked around the room, carefully examining each face. Emmett and Jacob were too enraptured in the current football game to spare a glance at me. Reneesme was staring wide eyed up at Alice, her small hand brushing the tiny hair's on Charlie's arms. Charlie's eyes were also averted, turned to Edward as he started talking. He and Bella were focused on each other. I glanced over Charlie's head to the kitchen, Carlisle, staring out the window as Esme talked to Seth. Seth was busy stuffing his face with a plate full of eggs and Esme was watching him proudly, asking him if he wanted anything else. My head whirled around, turning up the staircase to Rosalie's door. She was still upstairs, trying a new makeup brand she had bought earlier in the week.

I tensed slightly, my eyes turning out the large glass window. Rising out of the chair, I flashed a comforting smile at Alice as she stared at me questioningly. I brushed past Emmett and Jacob, stepping over their large bodies as they lay sprawled out on the floor. Gliding to Alice's side, I placed a light kiss against her cold cheek. Muttering too quickly for the others to have noticed, I quickly assured her that I was fine and that I was going to go upstairs to our bedroom.

She nodded quickly, her lips grazing across mine as she looked up at me.

My dead heart jumped as the soft lips brushed my scarred ones; this feeling never ceased from the first time we kissed, truthfully I hoped it never would. Racing up the stairs, I disappeared into our bedroom, shutting the door swiftly behind me.

I floated toward the bed, laying backward on the mattress with my hands folded under my head. I stared up at the ceiling, still unable to shake the unnerving feeling of being observed. Reaching across the bed, I pulled Alice's psychology book from the night table and opened it against my chest. As I began reading, the feeling slowly died away. The room was my sanctuary, some place Alice and I could escape to when things got too bothersome in the house.

Several minutes passed and the feeling returned, jarring my thoughts from the chapter on conscious thoughts. How ironic. I turned quickly to the window, leaping off the bed in a fluid motion. I crept carefully to the long window, my hand extended outward from me. Placing my fingers on the lock, I drew it backward, peering out into the thick green forest.

This was too odd. And too familiar. Someone was watching me beyond the reach of my vision. It instantly raised my walls, and my mind blocked everything going on downstairs out and focused on what was out in the forest. The wind swept up from the coast, shaking the leaves and pushing the blades of grass on the lawn. It wafted up the side of the house, creeping in through the open window and hitting my face.

I instantly leaped backward, pressing myself against the closet doors as a soft hiss escaped my lips. The others were sure to have heard, or at least Edward. I wasn't very careful of being quiet. The scent in the air was_ too_ frightening to provoke any other reaction.

It was piny, yet still flowery, distinct in every way possible. Too different from a animal, and different from what any nomad would smell like.. No.. This scent belonged to one source and one alone.

I felt a stabbing, ripping pain tear through my chest, burrowing beneath my sternum in the direction of my heart. My worst fears were making themselves known, a thousand images crawling from the back of my mind into my consciousness. I blinked quickly, squeezing my hands over my ears as I groaned. This couldn't be real. Not here. Not my home! Not my place of sanity for so many years! This had to be a nightmare! I wanted to scream, but knew if Charlie heard a ghastly demon like roar he'd probably defecate himself.

I paced the floor, my eyes flickering quickly over the walls. I heard the bottom stair cheek, most likely Edward coming up to check what was wrong with me. Dammit.. I really hated his talent some times! I whipped around toward the door, watching the knob quiver slightly. Crossing the floor easily, I clenched the doorknob tightly, wrenching the door open as Edward stared up at me questioningly.

His eyes showed that he knew something terrible was going on, and though he didn't readily speak he knew I was upset.

"Sorry". I said sheepishly, my head turning toward the closet. "Charlie you know. I just had to come upstairs."

"Are you sure that's it"? He muttered slowly, his brows pulling tightly together. Once again. Damn his gift!

"Yeah. I think I'm just going to go hunt for a little bit". I whispered running my fingers through my hair. It was damp, soaked with sweat, only one thing would make me sweat. I pulled my hand back swiftly shoving it into my pocket.

"Alright. You want me to go with you"? He said softly as I shook my head vigorously.

"No it is fine. I just need a little fresh air. Do tell Alice where I went. She will be concerned as she cannot _see_ right now". I smirked as Edward nodded quickly.

"Course". He muttered glancing at me silently for a moment before he turned away and descended the stairs once more.

Closing the door carefully, I flashed to the window.

No. No one could come with me.. I needed to be sure of this, on my own. I climbed onto the windowsill, balancing on thin strip of metal as I leaned out into the fresh air. Falling toward the ground, I did a tuck and roll through the air, landing effortlessly on my feet. Breaking into a mad dash, I sprinted head long into the trees.

My shoes squished across the muddy, wet underbrush as my eyes searched the trees. I sprinted for many miles, passing well out of the border of Forks toward the mountains. Running along the cliffside, the scent only grew stronger and more potent. I scaled the cliff swiftly, my claws digging into the cracks into rocks and I flew toward the sky. Leaping onto the edge of the cliff, I stared darkly ahead of me at the road.

There beside the curvy road stood a figure, it's back was turned to me at first.

Every nerve in my body screamed at once, every muscle tightening to a painful degree. My eyes darted open and closed, my throat squeezing tightly closed as the wind whistled into my ears.

She turned slowly toward me, the wind blowing her long dark hair over her blood red eyes. Her slender face contorted into a jester like mask of malicious joy as she stared at full lips curled up, revealing her small white teeth. Her long lapped against her teeth as her eyes widened and then narrowed.

My bones turned to lead instantly, holding me to the earth as my heart plummetted to the bottom of my feet. I watched her dark grin grow as her hand fell onto her slim waist.

"Jasper". She sang softly, her voice carrying over the small space between us and piercing my heart. "It has been a long time my love.."

* * *

.


	2. Chapter 2 Devil Resurfaces

I took in a quick breath, her scent burning my nostrils and throat as it entered me. That was a mistake, I wanted nothing of her in me! I blinked quickly, wishing more than anything that my vision was deceiving me. Or perhaps I was still human and all of this was merely a dream.. That would be too fortuitous for me.

She took a step forward and my hand twitched violently at my side. Her eyes ticked down at my hand and then to my face as she smiled even more darkly.

"Sweet Jasper". She sang again, her voice saturated with the sensuous tone that drew me to her in the first place. "It has truly been so long. You are a shadow of your former self."

I took in another breath, pushing it down my throat with everything I had. "With good reason". I stammered, my eyes darting over her face.

Her smile faltered a bit, returning back to normal a second later. "What good is there in denying your nature"?

I shook my head, trying to force her voice from my ears. I didn't want any of her poisonous words to enter my brain, they would rot away all the will power I had built since I left her. "Lots of good". I muttered, squeezing my hands into a fist.

She smirked deviously, her long hair brushing across her lip. "Depends on which direction you are looking from. From what I see it is a waste".

"So be it. I am wasting my talent as a mindless beast, I am content with that". I whispered taking a step backward to the edge of the cliff. How I wish I were human, then a fall from this height would kill me and I wouldn't have to look at this demon's face another second. I suppose I'd just have to be more creative in my escape from her. I looked back at her strongly, watching her raise her hand toward her hair line.

She brushed her hair away from her face, tossing her head back and forth and shaking the black strands through the air. "Such a shame that you feel this way."

I shrugged, glancing backward again. "Oh well".

She laughed lightly, her laugh filled with the sinister tone of her true intentions. "It doesn't have to be that way. You can be what you truly are.. A _monster_".

Her words stung through me, numbing my muscles instantly. Damn her. Damn this Satan serving wench! I glared at her, no longer hiding my distaste for her. "Save your breath." I hissed, rage building from deep within me. From the deep vaults of hate that I had locked away for so many years. "The answer is no"!

She smirked again, this time with more arrogance, the arrogance about her that I hated. "I figured you would say something like that." She muttered softly, her hand flicking casually through the air as she pretended to look bored. "I have let you be for some time now. Let you live this little _farce_ without intrusion". She bit out, her eyes becoming tight slits upon her high cheek bones. "But now I require your services once again. And I must insist you do not deny me, darling Jasper."

"It's too late for that". I barked, my fists trembling at my sides. "Leave this place this instant"!

"Calm yourself Jasper. You would dare not strike an old friend would you"? She teased, her body angling toward me.

"You are no friend of mine"! I hissed angrily, my rage reaching the very edges of my dam of self control.

She laughed lightly, her head tilting toward her shoulder. The tips of her hair brushed across her waist as she folded her arms. "Pity that this _girl_ has filled you with such hate toward me".

"That girl is Alice". I said sharply, the waves of rage rolling over the dam wildly.

"Oh yes whatever." She closed her eyes, her head turning up toward the sky. "Whatever you want to call the little thing, it matters not.. Our connection is _far_ greater. After all who's bond is stronger than that of the creation and creator?"

"Alice is who I love. I would never abandon her for a wench like you".

She laughed again, her eyes turning toward me sharply. "I figured you'd say as much." She took a step toward me and I took a step back. "So I arranged for a little persuasion". She snapped her fingers, her eyes looking over my shoulder to the cliff's edge.

I stole a glance over my shoulder, my teeth clamping together as I growled.

Thirty or so newborns were ascending the cliff face, hissing and growling as they climbed toward us.

"So Jasper. What is your answer?" Maria said, her arms folding loosely. "Will you stay and be slaughtered along with the rest of your family? Or will you save yourself and them as well? And join me. Let go of all these petty things and _do_ what is right."

I straightened up, squaring my shoulders as my fists quivered. I flashed another glance behind me as the newborns halted, waiting patiently for their next order. Turning back to Maria, I stared at the ground.

"It is too bad though. I heard that she was a seer, and yet she let you come alone? Did she not know I was coming? I was expecting a larger turn out from your so called 'family". She laughed wickedly, her laugh awakening the rage in me again.

Of course she wouldn't have seen this, not with all the hindrances we had in our home. She would have no idea that the devil of my past was going to arrive, no warning. She wouldn't even be able to warn the others of Maria's newborns. Dammit.

"She will fight for me". I whispered, shutting my eyes tightly.

"Save her the trouble then. Don't let her suffer for _your_ mistakes. You have prolonged the inevitable, letting yourself get close to these beings when you _always _belonged to me".

I stifled a hiss, no point in causing a fight, Maria's newborns would only overpower me and then go after the others. I shook my head weakly, feeling her smirk returning. It taunted me. It stoked the flames of my rage, trying to provoke a reaction. Maria already had her answer and she knew it.

There was no way I was going to endanger Alice and the others, not when I could save them. This was my past, something I thought I would never have to face again. I was so stupid. So stupid to believe I should be so lucky. If there were a being as stupid as me that would be a miracle. I glanced back at Maria, seeing her arrogant smirk only grow. "I will need a few hours, this is something I must do. You will let me do it or I will not go with you". I hissed at her as she nodded slowly.

"Just don't take too long love". She whispered taking several steps toward me. Her hands fell onto my shoulders and my entire body turned to stone. She leaned up on the balls of her feet, her head turned toward me as she smiled. Brushing her lips across the shell of my ear she spoke. "You're the right thing, don't let any one tell you differently.. You're saving them from the most _excruciating _death. It is what your destiny has always been."

I put my hands on her shoulders, shoving her back roughly as one of the newborns hissed. "Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth wench"! I hissed through clenched teeth as she backed away with a smile. Turning swiftly away, I threw myself over the cliff, landing with a thud on the grass far below. I swear I could hear Maria snickering as I sprinted into the trees. I wouldn't put it past her.


	3. Chapter 3 The Right Thing

I sat perched on a boulder a few miles from home, unable to motivate myself further. There was no way I was going to be able to do this, no matter how easy it seemed.

Then again, how easy a task could it be to destroy you own happiness, disregard your family, and shun the only reason for your existance? For one to think it'd be easy they'd have to have a heart of steel, or be named Maria.

I glanced over the tops of the trees as it began to rain. It rained lightly at first, but as typical with the weather in Fork's it proceeded to rain harder. I said perfectly still, letting the rain soak my body until it felt as if my very pores would fill with the cold liquid. I rested my hands on my knees, staring blankly ahead of me.

What was I going to do? What would I say? I couldn't very well speak with any of them. That would only complicate the situation.

Edward, Emmett and Rosalie would immediately jump into action, demanding Maria's location and planning for a fight. Bella would be speechless, unable to offer any words of wisdom due to her young age. Carlisle would be just as silent, his eyes filled with hurt. Esme would scream and shake, demanding we do something. Her emotions would be the most unstable, fear, anguish, anger all swirled into one. The others wouldn't be much better, yet still manageable. And then there was Alice. I couldn't even _think_ about her.

Her perfect face would twist in pain as she stared up at me with questioning eyes. She would grab my hands, and whisper my name in the sweet voice I have loved since our meeting in the diner. She would insist on fighting back, or running until we had enough strength to defeat Maria's newborns. She would search the future for an answer to this impossible situation. And once again her eyes would turn to me, weak and sorrowful.

I couldn't take it anymore. I struck my fist into the boulder, creating a three foot long crack on it's face.

This was a hopeless situation. No.. They couldn't be involved.. That was evident.

My head shot up as a scent that burned my nostrils far worse than Maria's reached me. Staring knowingly to the source, I saw Jacob's pack come stomping through the trees. The moment Jacob's black eyes locked on me, he phased back into his human form.

"Hey". he called to me, shirtless and dripping wet. "Where were you"? He said gruffly as he approached me.

"Hunting". I answered stoically as he nodded.

"Alice has been worried sick." He muttered with a shrug. "She asked me to look for you when we left".

Alice.. Why did he have to say her name? If he only knew what that did to me, what it was doing to me every time I thought of her. I stared down, ignoring the questioning look he gave me. Finally I met his eyes, my hands clenching at my sides. "I have to leave this place. I am a threat to everyone from here to La Push".

"What"? Jacob barked out, Seth phasing into his human form as well. Leah was the only who remained wolf, staring at me darkly from behind Jacob and Seth.

"What do you mean you're leaving"?! Seth snapped his eyes flashing up at me angrily.

"Why are you a threat"? Jacob said solemnly, his eyes narrowed tightly.

"There is a woman Maria, she is very dangerous, she has asked me to return to her. If I don't, she will kill my family and her newborns will slay every human in their sights." I muttered softly, lowering into a sitting position. My knees suddenly felt weak, unable to hold my own weight. I suppose speaking of an indistinguished slaughter did that to some people.

"Is she here"? Jacob snapped out, his eyes searching the trees sharply.

"She is waiting on the border, I must go to her soon or she will carry out her will upon Forks."

"But she's just one of you guys! We can kill her!" Seth said eagerly. Sweet naive Seth, he had no comprehension as to just how deadly Maria could be. I unfortunately knew all too well. "Then you won't have to leave! Sam can help as well, if he knows she's a threat he'll-" He stammered as I shook my head.

"It isn't so simple." I whispered slowly. "Maria always uses the newborns to her advantage, and she is very strong herself. She will know of the packs immediately and she will target you guys first". I rose shakily to my feet, my head swimming under the weight of Seth's emotions and my own. "I must do this. I will do what I can to save the lives of those I care for. Even if I have to do something I will surely regret. It is necessary".

Jacob nodded slowly, his eyes turning down. "Are you going to tell them"?

I froze, my eyes flickering toward the grey sky. Taking a long breath I shook my head. "Not if I can avoid it".

"Edward and Bella took Reneesme home." Jacob said slowly, his shoulders quivering slightly. "Carlisle has gone to the hospital and Esme, Emmett and Barbie went hunting."

I nodded carefully, unable to form the name of the one I loved above all others, even more than my own pitiful life. Finally I managed to do it. "And Alice"? I stammered, feeling a sharp jab in my chest.

Jacob met my eyes, his gaze all too understanding. It was such a strange thing, for him and I to speak, but he knew why I needed to know where she was above all others. "She went with them". He muttered slowly, his head turning toward Seth. "We will alert Sam. He would want to know of this". He said before phasing into his wolf form once more.

Seth stared at me for a long time, his mouth hanging open slightly. Finally he nodded, glancing at the ground. "I hope you come back. For _her_ sake." He whispered before falling into his wolf body.

The three sprinted off a moment later, leaving me once again with my thoughts.

Turning toward the house, I sprinted as hard as I could, pushing myself despite my mind's protest. I kept reminding myself that this was necessary, that it had to be done. All of that faded when the house came into view and I looked up at the window of our bedroom.

It was now or never.

I took a long breath, leaping fluidly toward the window, throwing myself roughly into my sweet smelling sanctuary.


	4. Chapter 4 Last Sentiments

I froze beside the window, my eyes flickering over every inch of our bedroom. My sanctuary. My home.

My feet made roots to the ground, similar to the roots that formed on the sidewalk the day I met her. The ones that wouldn't release until I stepped through that door and found my love. My heart. My soul. My existance.

I shook my head, breathing roughly out of my nostrils as I stared down at my feet. Rushing toward the desk I snapped up a pen and sheet of paper, determined to return to my purpose for coming here.

I hunched over the desk, the pen hanging loosely on my fingertips.

Nothing in me moved. Nothing made my muscles contract and put the pen to the paper. Was I so weak I couldn't do this simple task? No. Not weak. The opposite. Too strong. I was too strong to let myself to this. My mind held too tightly to the image of her face. My body clung to the sensation that lingered after our last, brief kiss. I couldn't let myself to this, and forcing myself to did not appear to be working.

I grunted again, shutting my eyes tightly.

**_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._**

Pressing the tip of the pen to the paper, I wrote what ever would make sense. Whatever I knew could ease her pain, and make forgetting me easier.

A whimper filled the room, so weak and pathetic. I couldn't have made that sound could I? But alas it was me. I was the weak and pathetic soul forced to destroy my own heart in writing a last letter. It was even more clear I didn't deserve her.

I never did. I never was worthy of one as strong as Alice. That was just something I was going to have to accept. That with all my weakness, a angel as perfect as Alice loved me.

_**So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.**_

I scribbled on the paper, unaware of the words I was writing. It didn't matter what I said now. I was dead. This letter might as well be called a suicide note, as I was committing myself to die by returning to Maria. As I continued to write, my mind drifted into the past, back to my happier memories I shared with her.

I would keep these forever, they would be the only thing keeping me alive during my eternal servitude to Maria.

I replayed our first meeting in my mind, determined to keep each detail vivid and perfect. I wanted this memory to last longer than the others, as it was the moment my life changed for whatever brief period it was.

I saw her glide toward me, perfect and graceful as always. Her words rang out in my ears, along with my stupid reply. Her hand extended to me, and I took it eagerly. I clung to it desperately as we passed through the doors, hope awakening in me for the first time in a century. We strode into the street, Alice clinging to my hand just as tightly as I clung to hers. She stared up at me with her wide, perfect eyes, full of hope and love for such a tortured soul like me.

I gave her every part of me, disregarded my dark past in the hope I'd find a happier existance with her. And I did. Briefly. But it was worth it. Every second I didn't spend killing made it all the more worth it. Every human I passed without draining made it worth it. I no longer hungered for human blood, I only hungered for Alice.

_**You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.**_

I dropped the pen, my shoulders quivering slightly.

_Please Alice. Please don't come for me. Live on please.._ I screamed this thought to the empty air of our bedroom, praying she'd obey.

I could no longer suppress the growl that escaped my lips. It shook the walls and made the shutters quake. My nails dug into the desk, leaving ten indention's in the wood. Snapping away, I strode toward the bed, my hand brushing over the mattress.

I glanced at our closet, so large and so Alice. I smiled slightly, walking slowly through the doors toward her rack and racks of outfits.

I needed something, something more tangible than my memories, something physical that I could remember her by. It seemed like a selfish thing to do, but I don't care who frowned upon it, it was necessary. I needed something I could hold during the warm Texas nights, something I could cling to rather. A shred of my former life where I lived each day with hope. Something small, that is all I wanted.

_**I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.**_

My eyes darted over the many racks of clothing, dresses, shoes, sweaters. My smile grew a degree as I thought of my sweet Alice. So obsessed with her clothes, how I secretly loved her for that.

I walked deeper into the closet, toward her most precious keepsakes. She had kept stupid things from our past, but said she loved them more than all her couture outfits.

I knelt beside a small box, my hand gently lifting away the cover. Glancing at the contents, I shook my head. None of this would do, as these were all things I gave to her. I needed something that was solely Alice.

I rose to my feet, taking in her sweet scent. It filled everything in her, saturated it. How I would miss this scent.

**_I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you._**

I drifted away toward the shelf that she kept her accessories. Rings, headbands, necklaces, all of the many fine pieces of jewelery I showered her with in our time together. My eyes widened as I saw just what I sought. Reaching shakily out to it, I took it carefully between my fingers.

It was a broach, one she had bought long ago, soon after we met. I thought it was beautiful in it's simplicity. A silver rose with a diamond in the center and small pearls lining the edge. It was perfect. Curling it carefully against my palm, I turned swiftly toward the doors, flying to the window.

I had to be quick, lest they return find me.

I paused at the window, stealing a last fleeting glance around our room. Climbing onto the pane, I leaped high into air before sprinting in the opposite direction toward the mountains.

_Goodbye Alice. My love. My world.._

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_


	5. Chapter 5 Gone

Alice ran alongside Rosalie, the wind whipping across her face as they sprinted up the coast. She stopped suddenly, her eyes widening as she gasped. "NO!" She screamed loudly, bringing Rosalie, Emmett and Esme to a grinding halt.

"What is it"? Rosalie hissed as Alice shook her head back and forth wildly.

"No.. No.. No.. NO. NO"! She screamed trembling head to toe as she collapsed onto the grass.

"What is it?! Alice"! Emmett yelled, dropping to his knees in front of her. Clenching her shoulders tightly, he shook her back and forth as her eyes turned up weakly to the sky.

"Emmett stop!" Rosalie snapped, slapping his arm. "You're going to hurt her"!

"No.. No.. Please no". Alice stammered, her eyes squeezing tightly shut as her head shook back and forth violently. "No.. No.. This can't.. No"!

"She won't snap out of it"! Emmett screamed up at Rosalie as Esme dropped to Alice's side as well.

"Enough of this". Emse hissed, collecting Alice against her chest. She pressed Alice into her shoulder, whispering softly to her. "Alice dear, speak to us. What is the matter".

Alice fought against Esme her eyes darting around. "This has to be a mistake- This can't .. Can't...Ugh"! She screamed, jumping wildly to her feet.

"Alice wait"! Esme yelled as Alice whirled around, throwing herself into the forest.

The three sprinted after her, barely able to keep up with the pixie as she flew across the grass.

"Alice stop!" Emmett screamed, racing to her side. "Tell us what's up"!?

"I have to go home"! She whimpered, her eyes tightening at the corners. "This cannot be real! I just have to make sure"! She bolted away from him, quickening herself beyond the speed the others could match.

She darted into the yard, quickly leaping into the air as the others arrived behind her. Throwing herself through the window, she looked around swiftly. "Jasper"?! She called, her eyes searching every corner of the dimly lit room. "Jaz"! She cried, her eyes flashing over the wet foot prints on the ground.

Edward threw open the door a moment later, Bella close behind. "Alice what-"

"No time!" She screamed, turning on him wildly. "Where's Jasper"!?

"I haven't seen-"

"Ugh"! She screamed, smashing her fist onto he surface of the desk. She watched Edward's mouth drop open, his eyes falling onto a discarded sheet of stationary on the floor.

Emmett, Esme and Rosalie appeared a second later, their eyes locking Alice as she froze.

Alice dropped to the ground weakly, her knees thudding roughly against the wood as she collapsed. Her hand shakily reached out toward the paper, her body quivering all over. Bella appeared behind her, her hand resting on her shoulder as she stared at her softly. Taking the sheet into her hand, she shook her head vigorously. It was a letter, she knew that immediately, but the hand writing was too familiar. The same hand writing on all of her Valentine's day cards and every gift she had ever recieved. The perfectly swayed lettering of the man she loved with every fiber in her.

"No.." She whimpered, her hand pressing over her mouth. "No.."

* * *

_Alice.. My sweet love.._

_I cannot lie to you.. You are my entire world. You know that well.. I would not exist if it weren't for you. _

_But I cannot continue this way.. It has taken me a long time to realize this.. And yet. I don't want to leave, but I must. _

_I cannot tell you why but I am sure Jacob will as soon as he gets there.. I must do this Alice, not for her but for you and everyone else. _

_You mustn't come after me. NO matter what. _

_I love you more than a simple letter could even say.. More than my own pathetic exisitance. Stay safe. Live on.. Do NOT seek me out. _

_Do this one thing for me.. Please Love.. _

_I love you so much.. You will be with me always.. __But for everyone else's sake I cannot stay.. Please understand this.._

_Forever yours, _

Jasper..

* * *

Alice dropped the letter to the ground, everyone staring over her silently.

The door flung open down stairs, Edward's head whipping out the door and down the stairs.

"What"?! Edward yelled, his head shaking back and forth as Bella looked up at him. He stormed out of the room, Emmett following him swiftly. "Jacob! What do you mean he left"!? He screamed as he stormed down the stairs.

"What"?! Esme cried, dropping to Alice's side and embracing her tightly.

Alice stared blankly over Esme's shoulder, her eyes dancing over the dents in the wood over the desk. Her body froze, her eyelids not even quivering as she stared at the spot where Jasper stood not ten minutes ago. Closing her eyes weakly, she collapsed into Esme's shoulder with a dry, furious sob.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED.....**


	6. Chapter 6 Shock

* * *

Everyone rushed downstairs as Emmett hurried back to the bedroom to collect the petrified Alice. He scooped her body off the floor, cradling it against his chest as he flew back down the steps.

Bella closed her hand around Edward's arm as Edward screamed at Jacob, demanding an explanation.

"That is all he said"! Jacob screamed back, his dark eyes narrowing. "He said _she_ came back and he had to leave with her! He wasn't going to make a scene with you guys!"

"Why would he do such a thing"? Esme cried, falling onto the couch as Emmett carried the limp Alice toward her. "Did he not even think to tell us of his intentions"?

"He said he wasn't going to. He wouldn't say anything if he could avoid it". Jacob said softly as Edward took a step away.

"Of course he'd say that! It's Jasper! He wouldn't want us to worry, to involve ourselves. He would want to take care of this himself"! Edward punched the wall, Bella rushing to comfort him as he growled deeply. "Dammit! I should have known! He knew this all along, that's why he wanted to go alone!" Edward screamed as Bella wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

"That is stupid". Rosalie hissed, falling to Emmett's side as he held Alice on his lap like a child. "These arrogant, self righteous men-"

"Rose!" Esme snapped, her kind eyes turning viscious. "You don't dare speak of your brother that way! He did this to protect us"!

"A lot of good that did"! Emmett said loudly, his arm wrapped protectively around Alice's shoulders. "Did he think we'd just sit here? We have to go after him!"

"He doesn't want anyone to go after him, he made that very clear"! Jacob said strongly, as he looked around the room. "He doesn't want you guys involved. He left because if he didn't, Maria would send her blood suckers after you guys".

"Well too damn bad! Like hell we're just gonna let him do this alone!" Emmett said looking at Rosalie and Edward. "He's one of us. He should know we'd die to protect one of our own."

"He does know that, that is why he's not here! He doesn't want us to sacrifice ourselves for him!" Edward said sternly as he draped his arm over Bella's shoulder. "He's considered all options in this situation and chose the one he felt was best. Do you think he'd honestly want _this_!" He snapped, throwing his hand violently at the mute Alice. "If there was a better way he would have found it, but this is what he's decided."

Alice moved for the first time throughout the conversation, hugging her knees against her chest as she leaned her head on Emmett's wide shoulder. Her mouth was clamped tightly shut, her expression filled with more anguish that went beyond all comprehension. She looked as if, if she were able to, if she could, she would die in Emmett's arms that second.

Emmett shifted her weight, pressing her against him as Rosalie stroked her arm weakly.

"We've got to do something". He muttered softly, his eyes turning down to Esme as she shook her head.

"We must tell Carlisle. He will know what to do". Esme traced her fingers through Alice's dark hair as the girl remained frozen.

"Thanks anyways Jacob." Edward muttered as Jacob shrugged.

"It's fine. I told Sam of the situation, he sent some of his pack out to look. They found nothing". Jacob slid his hands into his pockets as his eyes turned toward the floor.

Esme's eyes danced over Jacob's bare chest, her warm motherly expression returning. "Let me make you some hot chocolate". She whispered rising carefully from the couch and floating into the kitchen.

Jacob followed after her without protest, all too aware it was impossible to argue with Esme once her mind was made up.

The other remained in the living room, all their eyes turned on their littlest sister.

She sat perfectly still, staring blankly at the wall as Rosalie continued to try and comfort her. She weakly raised her arm, peering down at the ring on her left hand. A soft whimper escaped her lips as she buried her face in the nape of Emmett's neck.

Edward glided away, snapping his cell phone from his pocket as he passed out the front door onto the porch. Pressing roughly down on the speed dial, he held the phone to his ear as he listened to the dial tone. It rang only once, Carlisle' voice echoing through the speaker into his ear.

"Yes Edward". Carlisle said softly. "What is the matter"?

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find his voice. He cleared his throat roughly, his eyes shutting tightly. "There's been a situation". He muttered into the reciever as Carlisle fell silent.

"What has happened"? Carlisle said finally as Edward shook his head. "Is everyone alright?"

"No. Not at all. Can you come home"? Edward muttered opening his eyes and looking toward the garage.

"Yes. I will leave immediately. Keep everyone calm alright"?

"I'll try". Edward muttered softly as the line went dead. Shutting the phone swiftly, he darted back into the house silently.

* * *

Carlisle arrived twenty minutes later, throwing the car in park as he flashed out onto the driveway. He ascended onto the porch quickly, throwing open the door furiously.

His eyes flickered around the room, to his stoic family members.

Edward and Bella were sitting on the couch, a sleeping Reneesme in Bella's arms. Rosalie was standing beside the window, her eyes turned out toward the trees. Emmett sat on the couch, his arm draped around a blank eyed Alice. He turned toward Esme who was walking out from the kitchen, Jacob sitting on the counter watching him silently. Esme floated in front of him, her hands touching hesitantly to his chest.

"What has happened"? Carlisle whispered as Esme shook her head weakly.

"Jacob is the only one who spoke to him". Edward muttered, turning carefully toward him.

Carlisle looked up at Jacob, walking him stride hesitantly into the room. Taking Esme's hand, he walked to the arm chair, sitting silently in it as Jacob cleared his throat.

"A while ago I ran into Jasper, when he had gone hunting". Jacob began slowly, watching everyone flinch at the mention of Jasper's name. "He said he was leaving. That he had to leave, or all of Forks would suffer for his actions."

Carlisle remained silent, his eyes locking on Alice. It didn't appear as if she were even conscious, that her mind was completely empty of a coherent thought. She didn't acknowledge anything Jacob said or even that anyone else was in the room. "Did he?" He said looking at Jacob sternly.

"Yes. He said this woman, Maria, had come for him. She said if he didn't go with her, you all would be killed." He sighed heavily, his eyes turning toward the ceiling. "He only spoke to me and took off about an hour ago I presume."

"What will we do"? Edward muttered stealing a glance at Alice.

Carlisle sighed, his fingers pressing into his forehead as he closed his eyes. "We cannot do anything. He would not want us to follow, we _should _honor that wish. But this truly pertains to only one of us, their decision will dictate what we do next." He whispered looking at Alice as everyone's eyes fell onto her as well.

* * *

**So I've been trying my very best to make this story as good as possible and honestly I'm getting a little discouraged. I have no idea if it's being recieved well or if anyone actually likes it. So if you would like to review please do so, it's definetely a motivator to keep me going and keep writing the best I can. Thanks everyone. Chapter 7 coming soon!**


	7. Chapter 7 Crushing Darkness

Leaving Forks was harder than I could have ever imagined. The first few times I did it, it was easy only because I had her with me. She was constantly at my side and she was my home. Forks was where my body lived, in the safety of her embrace is where my heart resided. My heart, the heart that would no longer flutter, the heart that would sit as a weight in my chest, keeping me locked to my inescapable destiny.

I never thought I'd return to this life, with her. But then again I'd never thought I'd meet someone like Alice, perhaps I should stop thinking all together. After all, soldiers were never made to think.

Our journey to the South was a silent one, filled with haunting images of roads I had long ago traveled. Roads I hoped to never see again.

We settled in the desert outside a small town in New Mexico, Maria explaining her newest tactic for gaining territories. I sat stoic and silent, a blond haired statue, dead to the world.

Her plan was more secretive than the ones we carried out in the past. We would fight our enemies in darkness at night, instead of long drawn out public battles. We would infiltrate the fabric of the city, and create newborns as watchmen posted on the outskirts of town. She was so excited; she bounced around eagerly as I remained silent.

What did it matter what stupid plan she came up with? I was obligated to carry out that plan, lest my loved ones be killed. I should just snap her neck this instant and rid myself and the world of this soulless bitch.

I stared out the window as the bright sun rose into the sky. It was such a different sun than the one I saw on the bleak skyline of Forks. Mostly due to the fact that_ my_ sun was not a star at all, rather a person, one whom I'd never see again.

Hopefully she would heed my wishes and not seek me out. She did not deserve to fight this battle for me. This time she needed to step back and finally do what I told her to. She needed to live on, and forget about me all together.

But I didn't want her to forget, I didn't want to forget either, though it would make things easier for both of us. I just wanted her to stay safe. It wasn't too much to ask. Just a simple thing to do.

_**I am a dreamer but when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be**_

I just wished for Alice to be free. Free of the burden of caring for me, free of the threat of this hateful witch. Free of any pain and sorrow that might come as a result of this.

Every memory replayed in my mind, as Maria danced around the bon fire she'd made later that night.

I tried desperately to remember Alice's face as the newborns Maria was now slaying, screamed and writhed in the pyre. I closed my hands over my ears, the cool platinum surface of my wedding band brushing my cheek. I focused on Alice's smile. The loveliest thing I had ever seen; so pure and innocent, so loving and deceivingly playful, so perfect, perfect in its simplicity, just like Alice. I jumped as pair of hands closed on my thighs, Maria's cool breath washing over my face.

She looked down at me darkly, her hair brushing across the tip of my nose. "Jasper, I have saved one; just one pathetic newborn for you, how about it for old time sake?" She whispered, her hand gesturing to the struggling new born eyeing me fearfully. "Awaken your instinct, and shun that stupid existence you lived for the past few years. This is your life, as it always has been."

I jumped to my feet, shoving her backward as she hissed softly. "Do it yourself". I muttered turning away as she growled.

"So weak Jasper, I swear!" She barked as she strode to the newborn, her hands closing on its head. "I will break you of that shortly, you wait and see". She snapped, jerking away the newborn's head as it screamed and struggled violently.

I cringed as I felt the newborn's fear and desperation, and heard the cracking of the vertebrate in my ears. Walking quickly up the steep dune, I collapsed on my knees, staring weakly up at the stars.

* * *

The next nights were some of the worst I had experienced in several decades. Each night I was made to follow Maria as she hunted, acting as an unwilling guard. She tempted me constantly, trying to break my will power but taunting me with bleeding victims. I hated her for this and wanted to snap her hand into pieces as she danced to me, streaking fresh blood over my lips. She always was the same, muttering how eventually I would cave. It was just a matter of time.

It had been a fort night since we'd left Forks and the wound in my heart had not healed. Not that I expected it would. I just expected eventually I would become numb, and think only of my past. Maybe I could just picture Alice, and eventually my heart would not ache for her. That was a long shot.

After another pointless slaughter of a handful of newborns, I sat alone in our desert cave, staring blankly out over the dark dunes of the desert.

I couldn't erase her from my mind, nothing worked, not even witnessing the horrifying things that Maria was trying to taunt me with. I still clung to her. Truthfully, I was scared to let her go, scared I would fall back into my former self. Back into a blood thirsty, souless beast. Perhaps that is why my mind would not let her go. She was still the only thing keeping me sane, holding tightly to the shreds of my humanity, however tiny they might be. I let out a sigh, my fingers spinning my wedding band around my finger.

Was she thinking of me as well? Most likely..

* * *


	8. Chapter 8 Mental Hell

* * *

Days passed and the family anxiously monitored the immobile Alice. Carlisle and Esme sat with her most of the day as she remained on the couch, staring blankly into space. Rosalie and Emmett attempted to start conversations with her, to which they got no response. Bella and Edward attempted to get Alice to communicate with at least Reneesme, to no avail.

Alice sat stoic for days, her knees hugged to her chest and her chin resting on top. She stared across the living room, her gaze on nothing in particular. She could have very well be staring at the bolts in the hinges of the door for all anyone knew. But Edward knew better. She was searching the future for her mate, judging each fo Jasper's actions silently. She never spoke to a soul of her visions, so Edward was the one whom told the others of every thing going on in Jasper's life.

It was late one night, and the family sat in the kitchen quietly discussing Alice's latest vision.

Esme leaned against Carlisle's chest, her eyes turned out to Alice on the couch. "Is he alright? Can you tell"? She whispered frantically as Edward nodded.

"He appears to be._ She_ is trying to break his will power, testing him in every way she can think of." Edward muttered as Rosalie hissed.

"That bitch"! She muttered, slamming her fists on the counter as Emmett patted her shoulders.

Esme made no objection, usually she didn't condone Rosalie's foul mouth, but this was a different situation. Everyone had their own feelings about Maria, Rosalie was just the most vocal of the group.

Bella sat on the counter top, her legs crossed as Reneesme sat on her lap. "Poor Jasper".

"This was to be expected. He always talked about his time with Maria as the worst years of his life. I wouldn't expect it to get easier the second time around". Carlisle said softly as he stroked the top of Esme's head.

"We have to do something"! Rosalie snapped, clenching her fists so tightly, her veins tightened on her knuckles. "This is ridiculous!"

"I know Rose. You are not the only one who feels that way". Carlisle said giving her a stern look.

"But look at her"! Rosalie said throwing her hand out to the living room. "She won't feed! Speak! God only knows what her visions are revealing! She needs to snap out of us and give us a direction to go in"!

"Let her be Rose". Carlisle said more sharply, his eyes tightening at the corners. "Please stop this, we are all under a lot of stress right now! The only thing we can do is wait until she comes around."

Rosalie fell silent, her shoulders slumping forward in defeat. Emmett wrapped his arms around her shoulders, leaning his chin on top of her head.

"Mommy". Reneesme said suddenly, glancing up at Bella. "I want to talk to Aunt Alice". She said softly as everyone looked at her sharply.

Bella smiled weakly, her hand brushing over her curls. "I'm sorry honey. Aunt Alice isn't really-"

"I know. I just want to talk to her, she's so sad". Reneesme prodded, her eyes locking on Alice.

"That isn't wise". Carlisle said looking down at her sadly. "Alice hasn't fed in quite some time".

"I don't think she'd hurt Reneesme". Bella said softly, looking up at Edward.

Edward shook his head slowly, his hand pressing on hers. "It isn't wise. Alice has wonderful self control, and she would never do anything, I just think at this point in time it isn't safe." He looked up at the others, shaking his head carefully. "Her mind.. She's completely absorbed with Jasper. It's slowly tearing her apart".

Esme whimpered, squeezing Carlilse's hand tightly. "Go help her! Rose, Bella! Go get her off the couch, take her upstairs or something, it's too hard to see her this way".

Rosalie and Bella nodded unamimously, Bella handed Reneesme off to Edward as she followed Rosalie out of the kitchen.

They glided into the room, Alice making no acknowledgement that they were there. Bella sat on the arm of the couch leaning toward Alice. "Come on Alice, let's go take a bath". She suggested soft as Alice remained silent. Rosalie walked toward her, her hand closing around Alice's wrist.

"You've been here for a week now, let us help you". Rosalie said sternly as Bella looked up at her weakly.

Alice's head moved in their direction a millimeter, her eyes blinking slowly. She carefully lowered her hands, her legs falling over the side of the couch. Her feet touched lightly to the ground as she rose smoothly. Even in the middle of a mental breakdown she was still as graceful as ever.

Bella wrapped her arm around her waist as Rosalie patted her hand.

The two women guided Alice up the stairs, turning toward her and Jasper's bedroom. They entered the room silently, Alice shuttering momentarilly before becoming still once more. They walked into the bathroom, Rosalie flashing to the tub and turning on the faucet. Bella placed her hand on Alice's shoulder, glancing up at her silently as Alice stared blankly ahead of her.

Bella backed away as Alice raised her hand, brushing her fingers through her hair as she shrugged out of her dress. Not even bothering to remove her under garments, she strode quietly to the tub as Rosalie watched her sternly. Sinking deeply into the water, she stared intently at the faucet.

Rosalie glanced back at Bella as Bella shrugged. Turning back to Alice, she reached into the tub, clenching a rag.

"Thank you Rose". Alice said in a grave tone, her eyes unwavering as she took the rag from Rosalie.

Bella and Rosalie kneeled beside the tub as Alice dragged the rag across her shoulders and up her neck. Rosalie took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of the lavender bath beads on the counter. Her eyes ticked up to the corner of the wall size mirror, to a small black and white photo. Letting out a sigh, she nudged Bella's side.

Bella nodded quickly, turning back to face Alice.

"How is everything"? She whispered shakily, watching Alice's eyes break away and turn to her slowly.

Alice looked at Bella silently, her thumb of her right hand brushing over the surface of her wedding ring. "I don't understand."

"I know". Rosalie said slowly, her long lashes brushing over her cheeks. "We'll bring him back." She said carefully as Bella looked sharply at her. "Even if we have to kill a thousand new borns. He's family". She smiled weakly Alice nodding stoically.

"I should have known. I should have seen it in his eyes that something was wrong. If I wasn't so-"

"You had no control in this Alice! It isn't your fault, if it weren't for the dogs-" Rosalie barked as Bella shook her head quickly.

"Rosalie is right. It isn't your fault. It's _hers_ she came here, she did this, not you". Bella said leaning against the side of the tub.

"I should have known though. I'm the one who is supposed to protect everyone from things like this." Alice said leaning back on the tile. "I'm supposed to know, and tell you guys! I'm supposed to keep him safe"! She hissed as she shut her eyes.

"You weren't seeing right. No one can blame you and he above all else would not blame you! We'll get him back! I swear". Rosalie said darkly as Bella nodded.

"That's if he even wants to come back". Alice muttered before falling silent again, leaving Rosalie speechless and Bella leaning her forehead against the edge of the tub.


	9. Chapter 9 The Dull Ache of Love Lost

It had been weeks since I left Forks and still the ache in my chest did not weaken. Would it ever? Probably not and being an empathy didn't help. I felt my emotions far more than Maria, and I felt Alice's more than any other being on this earth. Even being so far from her I knew her love for me remained. That she shook with tearless sobs, and hid them from the world.

My perfect Alice, only once did I ever see her brilliant face crack with anguish. It was soon after we learned of her past, and she instantly collapsed into my chest. But who would she fall against now? Rosalie most likely, or Bella or Esme. They would stroke her hair and tell her it would be alright, but Alice wouldn't listen. She would fight them, determined to believe only in the truth of her visions.

She was so stubborn sometimes. Holding tightly to the belief I loved her still. Very smart she was, as I still loved her with every nerve, blood vessel, skin cell and everything else in me. She was my very heart, and with her gone, I was truly what our kind was supposed to be, soulless, heartless beasts.

_**I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.**_

My life continued in a repetitive circle. I would hunt with Maria, killing field mice or coyotes while she preyed on the townspeople. She was constantly testing me, dangling bleeding victims before me with a sinister smirk. I always denied her, but my will was weakening. The only thing that kept me clinging to my humanity was Alice's face in my mind.

I didn't want to plunge back into darkness, back into this life I had hated for so long. Alice knew this was my greatest fear above all else, and she held my hand tightly when the memories resurfaced from time to time. She knew when I had become far too quiet that I was thinking of my past, and she instantly came to my side. She was my sanity, and without her it wouldn't be long till I fell beneath the surface of the sea of blood and violence I fought against for so long.

But I had betrayed her trust, and made her worst fear realized. I abandoned her. I left her when she was at her most vulnerable, when her gift wasn't able to help her. I hope she knew I did it because I loved her. And I loved our family.

_**  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,**_

The bloodshed continued, Maria creating and destroying more newborns. I reluctantly participated, but not of my own will. I did it to appease her, to keep her oblivious to my true intentions. Perhaps if I could convince her I was my old self, she would suspect me less. Then maybe I could escape her.

But that would be to no avail. She would follow me. If I went back to Forks she'd follow, and she'd bring her horde of beasts with her. But maybe this time it would be alright, the others would have a warning, and they would be ready. They would gather Jacob and Sam's pack and they would fight her.

These hopes were fleeting, as the chance of my fortunes turning in such a positive direction was unlikely. It was stupid to think so optimistically. But that was all I could do. All I could do was plan an escape that would bring me back into the arms of my reason for existing. I couldn't live this life much longer, and at this rate I would tear my own limbs away and throw myself into the pyre. OR I'd go to Peter and Charlotte and ask them to rip me apart till there was nothing left. Anything would be better than living each day at the side of this devil bitch.

_**  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.**_

I focused back on my task at hand, back to keeping guard while Maria fed in a small home in the town. I cringed as the emotions of her victims struck me, emitting all of the familiar feelings that came with being slain. I wanted to jump out of my skin with each whimper and blood curdling scream.

I heard Maria's footsteps behind me, the sound of feet dragging on the carpet echoing in time. I turned to face her, her red eyes glimmering brightly as she looked up at me.

My eyes flashed down to the girl in her arm, no older than fourteen at the most, that was staring up at me fearfully. She struggled against Maria's vice like grip, whimpering and crying. Her chest was bleeding from the multiple claw marks Maria had made, and each thump of her thundering heart made the blood pour out more quickly.

"Drink". Maria sang, pulling the girl closer to me. "It is so fresh." She licked her blood stained lips slowly, her eyes fluttering open and closed. "Virgin blood, you remember the taste don't you"? She looked up at me intently as she closed her hands around the girl's shoulders tightly.

The girl let out a cry, her eyes squeezing closed as she shook violently.

I stared down at the crimson liquid staining her white tank top. Each drop moved smoothly down her tan skin, calling to me in the most seductive way. To my horror I found myself reaching out to her, the venom collecting in my mouth as Maria smirked.

My fingers were mere inches from the gashes, ready to touch the hot blood. I could taste it in my mouth, every minute flavor awakening my taste buds. It would taste so good. Virgins were one of my favorite ones to kill in my former life.

I pressed my hand against her neck, the girl shaking her head back and forth wildly as Maria grinned. I leaned forward, feeling excitement from Maria and overwhelming terror from the girl. As my lips grazed over her warm flesh, I froze.

"_Jasper don't". _Alice's voice said softly in my ears, snapping me backward and pressing me against the wall as Maria hissed.

"No". I stammered as Maria's gaze turned wild.

"What"?! She snapped, the grip on the girl loosening slightly. "You won't kill her"?! Maria snapped, her hands releasing the girl, dropping her heavily onto the carpet.

"No". I shook my head, my hand brushing over my mouth. The venom lingered on my skin as I eyed the girl fearfully. "I will not". I met Maria's eyes as they girl scurried across the ground away from us.

"Why not Jasper? How long do you intend to live this way? Slaying vermin instead of our true source of sustenance? Eventually your thirst will consume you, and when it does, I will be there laughing at your feeble attempt at an alternative lifestyle." She growled before leaping high into the air and dropping down in front of the girl and snapping her neck.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10 A Love That Won't Fade Away

Alice drifted through the house, lingering mostly in the living room just as she had done before. She still spoke to no one, her gaze returning to space as she fell back into her visions. She half smiled for a second, everyone looking at her curiously. Her smile faded a moment later as everyone looked to Edward for an answer.

"Jasper has got into a fight with Maria, she wanted him to kill a girl and he would not." He muttered softly as Alice closed her eyes.

Bella leaned against his side, her eyes dancing over Alice as she clenched Reneesme against her chest.

After a few more hours of Alice's silence and Edward explanations, Alice suddenly rose to her feet. She looked over everyone as they stared up at her questioningly.

"Finally". Edward said with a sigh of relief as Alice floated toward the front door.

"What"? Esme demanded frantically as Edward shook his head.

"She's going to hunt." He shrugged as Esme fell silent.

"I thought perhaps we had a decision made." She said softly as Carlisle squeezed her shoulder.

"Soon love. It won't be much longer now". He muttered kissing Esme's head as Alice's scent disappeared from the porch and into the trees.

* * *

She ran several miles from the house, not looking at anything in particular. She finally stopped near the border, her eyes adjusting to the rain falling rapidly around her.

It was the first time she was truly alone; none of her family members looking over her anxiously, no sinister Maria plaguing her mind, not even her beautiful Jasper. She was truly and utterly alone. She let out a sigh, her eyes turning up to the dark sky.

What was she going to do with herself? He couldn't very well expect her to move on could he? No. She could never move on. And he knew that.

She looked down, her hand brushing across her thigh. She frowned, her hand moving across her pocket once more, there was something in there, solid and familiar to her.

She reached her hand into her pocket, drawing out her cell phone.

No doubt Rosalie must have slid it into her pocket as a way that they could constantly be in contact with her. But why hadn't she'd known of it earlier? That was easy. She wasn't thinking of anything besides him.

She flipped it open, peering thoughtfully at a picture of her and Jasper on the screen. Her heart screeched in protest as she glanced over their smiling faces staring back at her. Unconsciously she pressed down on the green phone button, a list of the last numbers she'd called appearing before her.

The calls she had made were a few days old; Esme, Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper.

Her body froze over as she looked over his name in it's bold, green, lettering.

Without even realizing it, she was pushing down on the call button, her hand bringing the phone receiver to her ear. Her heart fluttered as it rang several times, her knees buckling wildly as she closed her eyes.

* * *

We had already returned to our place in the desert, Maria quickly abandoning me for 'more favorable' company. I sat on a rock over looking the desert before me, my eyes dancing lazily over a coyote pawing away at the den of a wild rabbit.

Suddenly something vibrated at my hip, shaking through my bones. My eyes flashed down to my pocket, the source of the vibration inside. Snapping my hand into the pocket I pulled out my cell phone. I hadn't even realized I had it. I always carried it with me but I guess I hadn't even thought to leave it home when I left.

My eyes danced over the glowing screen, to the five letter name staring back at me.

ALICE.

No. This couldn't be happening, she wasn't calling me.

It rang again, shaking in my palm as I stared awestruck at it.

Without even giving the order to move my hand, the phone was already pressed against my ear, silence coming from the other side.

I cleared my throat deeply, my skin beginning to bead with sweat as I tried to speak. "Hello". I said mutely as a whimper echoed through the receiver.

My heart plummeted inside me, suddenly making itself known after so many weeks of absence. It was because of one person, and she was on the other wide.

"Jasper". She choked out, her voice vibrating down my arm and into my core. "Jasper, are you there"? She said again as I nodded.

"Of course." I whispered, the hand holding the phone trembling madly.

Another whimper escaped my lips, tearing through the phone into my chest. "Jaz. Are you alright"?

How like her. To be concerned with someone like me at a time like this. How I loved her for being so selfless.

"Of course love." I closed my eyes, shivers crawling up my spine as I listened to her breathing through the phone.

"Please come home". She said softly, my entire body exploding from the inside out.

I shook my head, my nails digging into the skin of my forehead as I breathed roughly. My shoulder shook and my hand trembled as I tried to keep from flying into the night sky at her request. Finally I found my voice. "I cannot love. I won't risk your safety."

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

"She doesn't scare me". She said stubbornly as I opened my eyes. So like Alice to argue with me.

"It's not that. I want you to be safe. And as long as I'm there, you and the others and all of Forks will be in danger." I whispered staring out over the skyline once more.

"I don't care." She said sternly. "I won't be away from you".

I buried my face in my hands, agony ripping through my body. "It won't be for long. I will pacify her, and when she has all the territories she desires I will return to you. I swear".

She fell silent, and for a second I thought she had hung up. But I knew better than that. Her voice came again, soft yet certain. "It won't be just this once Jasper. You know that. She will never let you go now that she has you again".

The truth terrified me, yet I knew she was right. Of course she was, who would doubt a psychic? But the optimist in me wanted to believe I had satisfied Maria in coming here, and when she had what she wanted she would allow me to leave.

"I know Alice. But I will be with you again. I swear it."

"What if it is not for a hundred years"? She whimpered as I shook my head.

"I would surely have slain her in just a few months. I would never let myself be away from you for longer than that". I said loudly as she fell silent again.

Finally she spoke. "I love you Jasper. I will come for you. I don't care if she has a thousand newborns. I'd rather die at your feet than live a day without you." She said with certainty and conviction.

"No! No you will not Alice"! I screamed into the phone, my hands shaking out of anger rather than weakness.

_**And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet**_

How dare she disregard her life -the thing I hold closest to my heart- as nothing. I would never allow her to do such a stupid thing, yet knew I could do nothing to stop her. She was like me, and I would die at Maria's hands than live a second without Alice. I would embrace a beautiful death, and finally sleep for the first time in almost two centuries as I burned in the pyre. It would matter not. My soul would be complete, with her.

"You won't win this time Jasper. I love you far too much to give you up". She said softly as I shook my head.

"If you love me you will stay where you are." I said sternly as I pictured her shaking her head.

"I will not make such a promise, because I will not lose you".

"I am not lost, you always have my heart, you know that"! I snapped into the phone.

"It doesn't matter unless you're with me. You are dead right now, and for that I must die as well". She said strongly as I shook my head, jumping to my feet.

"You will not come here Alice! You promise me right now"! I screamed, seeing her smirking on the other side.

"No Jasper. I won't promise you that.. I love you, and I won't let a future without you come to pass". She said before the line went dead.

I stared at the phone in disbelief, my eyes wide and burning. Shutting it carefully, I slid it back into my pocket as my heart disappeared from my chest once more.

_**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.**_

Alice. Sweet Alice. Sweet, lovely, stubborn, headstrong, Alice. She couldn't come here. That was exactly what I was trying to avoid. She couldn't just simply throw herself at death's feet over someone like me. She deserved to live, even if she found another she deserved to go on. This was my destiny not hers.

But perhaps I was wrong all along. Just as I had been wrong when I thought I'd never find happiness.

Maybe this was her destiny. From the very first moment we were to meet in the diner, to now. Maybe she and I were made to die with one another. Perhaps we were created only to exist with one another, and to live alone was not a part of the cosmic plan. Maybe the only way we could live is with one another, and to even attempt not to would result in the death of us both.

I was content with that. If anyone there were anyone in the world I'd die with it'd be her. She was my destiny, through and through.

_**  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**_

I glanced over the hill toward our self made camp, I felt nothing. I knew my destiny, and as long as it took me to finally learn of it, I was all too accepting. This was my destiny. I was to live with Alice or die beside her. Either way it was unavoidable.

I slowly trekked up the hillside, every fiber in my body ready to embrace my death. I would keep Maria oblivious of Alice's arrival until just the right moment. And when she became aware of it, I would put myself between my greatest demon and my salvation.

As I saw Maria in the distance, every emotion and thought poured out of me. I was truly hollow. Nothing but a shell striding to meet my death. My chest held nothing, completely hollow from the moment my body passed out of Forks. My mind was blank, with the exception of one thought. Embracing my sweet Alice as death claimed us.

No death could have been a more beautiful death than that.

_**  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.**_

_**

* * *

**_

.


	11. Chapter 11 Deception

**So thank you to those who have reviewed this story -****jackiehyde4eva/****massrie/****The Phantom of the Guitar/Three ****Cheers For the Broken/****Ember Sage/****Jaddabeanx****- I really **

**appreciate the reveiws and its keeping me motivated to continue with this story. To the others who read and dont feel its important to review, IT IS. Reveiws show that the people **

**reading your story are enjoying it and approve of what you're trying to do creatively. And it's a motivator to keep being creative and keep producing quality work for others to **

**enjoy. So to the people who are enjoying this story and reviewing, here's the next chapter. EnJOY! :) **

* * *

* * *

I had not yet heard from Alice as the next day drew to a close, and I felt very apprehensive. How soon would she arrive? Would she tell the others? In that case it may only be a few days time. Emmett, Edward and Rosalie would be all to eager for a fight, Esme concerned and Carlisile would object to violence but would consent to the plan, knowing there would be no other way.

That left me with very little time, I needed to put into place everything that would make the fight vastly unmatched. I would have to commit myself to subtly slaying more newborns, and it would have to be subtle or else Maria would suspect me. Then I would have to gain her trust, a very easy task even though what it required meant having to do something I deeply was fearing. But if it would save Alice I would do whatever I must.

Another day passed, and I stayed close to Maria, keeping up the front that I was committing to her cause. She seemed relieved, bragging how she always knew I would come around. I did not argue with her, it was crucial to keep her oblivious.

Finally when I was able to sneak away, I hurriedly dialed Alice's number, listening to the dial tone anxiously. I crouched behind a high rock beneath the moon, perched on the balls of my feet as my eyes searched the darkness. It rang several times, and fear clenched my chest. Could she have left already? Did she already take to the road the moment the line went dead last we spoke? No. Alice couldn't do something so reckless. She would confere with the others, make a solid plan or at least an excuse that would ease thier minds. She would say something brilliantly believable, and decieve Edward with her thoughts. She would make it as painless as possible for them if things should end badly for us.

The phone suddenly went dead, the bars on the corner flickering.

"Shit." I hissed, breaking into a sprint down the hill nearer to the road, the phone held high above my head. These useless modern day devices, so unreliable and fragile. Hopefully I would not have to run to far to get a signal again. If I suddenly passed into Texas Maria would know something was going on and give chase after me. I breathed quickly as the phone recieved it's signal, my feet planting in the dirt as I brought the phone back before my eyes.

Dialing her number again, I flashed a glance over my shoulder as it rang twice. Her breath echoed in my ear as she picked up. Thank goodness.. She was being smart about this. Hopefully the others were there as well.

"Hello? Jaz"?! She said frantically as it took me a moment to answer.

"I'm here love". I muttered into the phone, scanning over my shoulder carefully.

* * *

"Jasper"! Esme cried, her head snapping up as everyone in the room edged closer to Alice.

"I'm gonna kill him". Emmett muttered darkly, wringing out his hands as Rosalie leaned across his shoulder with her eyes on Alice.

"Things are okay right"? Alice said glancing swiftly at Jacob as he stepped back into the kitchen. Her mind was so damn cloudly with him around, it was heartwrenching not being able to know what was going on with Jasper. She squeezed the phone to her ear, listening to Jasper laugh dryly on the other side.

"Things are fine Alice. Are the others there as well?" He muttered swiftly as she glanced around at the faces of her family members.

"Yes they're here. I've told them of what I want to do. They said-"

"You can't come". Jasper bit off as her mouth dropped open.

"Jasper I'm not discussing this-"

"No. I mean come, but give me time. Let me make things right here. We cannot dive into this rashly Alice. If she suspects one thing or even gets the faintest wiff of you scent she will have made a hundred more new borns within the hour. She will do something drastic, you must let me handle this over here". Alice nodded, already knowing Jasper was speaking the truth as she saw the outcome in her mind. "Alright Jaz".

"It won't be long I promise." His whispered warmly, love and endless devotion filling his voice. "I swear I will not keep you waiting for me any longer. I will do everything I can in the coming weeks. You will know when the time is right". He sighed heavily, the sigh reverberating through her chest. He felt his anguish and guilt through his sigh almost as powerful as if he were right beside her. She was so attuned to him, his pain was hers and vice versa, she knew this was killing him just as much as her. She nodded slowly, her lips trembling. "Okay Jasper. Be safe." She muttered almost feeling him smile on the other side.

"I will my love. Do not make a single move before I tell you to, no matter what. I love you so much". He whispered before the line went dead and the phone lay stiffly on her palm.

She hadn't even been able to say she loved him back, but it didn't matter, he knew she did. It just would feel nice to say those words, and he would definetely need to hear them when he faced the darkest element of his past very shortly. Sighing she looked up at her family as Edward nodded at her, his expression impossibly tense.

* * *

The next nights were difficult for me, nearly as hard as the first. It was too much to hear her voice, and know she was still so far from him. I was a fool for ever thinking they could be apart, but that was another matter, what mattered now was his task at hand.

I needed to appear as if Maria's methods of tempting him were working. I needed to act as if I were falling back into place as her minion and strongest accomplice.

I took to killing the newborns, just as I had done so very long ago. It awoke in me a strange feeling, like looking back at a memory from a past life. Similar to when those whom had been reincarnated came in contact with something similar to that in a former existance. It was odd. Familar yet not. Each kill awoke in me the dark images of my first years of life, and yet they made me all the more numb. I wonder had I stayed in this life from the beginning, would I'd have a soul at all?

I shuttered at the thought. I couldn't even picture never meeting Alice; never seeing her wonderfully carefree smile or feeling her calm and comforting emotions. My life was changed from the moment our meeting, and there was no going back to this former life.

But I acted just as I should, which was gradually gaining Maria's trust. I thought perhaps I had her almost convinced, but I knew what I would soon have to do. And the thought made my stomach quake.

It was a stromy night when we went hunting, Maria and I and one of her newborns. We lingered near the bar district, Maria attracting the drunken men into the alley where I and the newborn male waited. She glided toward us, sauntered really, the men staring hungrily after her. They should have been smart enough to run. Her movements were so inhuman they should have feared her immeidately and ran from her. Yet just as all intoxicated men did when a strikingly beautiful woman paid attention to them, they followed blindly.

The newborn was waiting anxiously, licking his lips hungrily as he bounced up and down. He would blow our cover with this behavior. I snapped my hand out against his chest, focing him backward against the brick wall as I shook my head.

Maria stepped through the mouth of the alley, the humans close behind her. I could hear their twittering hearts getting closer. My stomach twisted and clenched, my thirst shooting up my throat and setting my insides a flame. Every nerve awoke, my muscles tightening, I tried to keep rooted to the ground as they came within three feet, still not able to see us from the darkness.

The newborn suddenly lurched out, claws bared and fangs exposed as he flew over Maria's head. He latched onto one of the men, tearing and ripping apart his soft flesh as both men screamed.

The other took off running, his feet thudding heavily on the ground.

"Get him!" Maria hissed at me in the most demoic voice. That voice, how it haunted my memories.

I flew effortlessly through the air, dropping down in front of the man in a flash. The man screamed, turning on his heel, ready to bolt away from me. Maria appeared in front of him, smirking darkly with her hands hanging loosely at her sides.

"What's the matter?" She sang through clenched teeth as the man backed toward me, his eyes darting at my expressionless face and back at Maria. "Don't you wanna play"? She whispered raising her hands smoothly.

The man screeched loudly, stepping away from her and I as I swooped behind him. This was a tireless game of cat and mouse, such nonsense really. Maria loved to play games with her victims, one of the most sickening qualities about her. Perhaps she should have joined with Victoria and James, they too loved games. All three demons were so strikingly similar if it weren't for their different appearances one might have thought they were the same.

The man thudded against my chest, looking up at me wearily.

Slowly I lifted my hands, closing them on his biceps and holding him firmly in place. How I dreaded do this, but it was necessary, if Maria saw me let the man escape she would surely lose all faith in me and distrust me once again. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to ignore the man's thrashing beneath my hands. I felt Maria's breath was over my face as she leaned forward until she was eye level with the man.

"Look at it this way". She sang, running her finger along his jaw. I opened my eyes partially, just enough to see her pulling the man's face toward her. "You can be my victim or you could be his". She whispered turning his head slowly toward the alleyway where the newborn was hovering over the mutilated body of his friend.

The man began to thrash against my grip, kicking Maria's shins and tossing his head back and forth.

"Jasper". Maria said coldly, drawing my gaze to her. "Finish him." She smiled as she glided away from us, moving toward the newborn as he jerked his head up.

Dammit. I got too committed to this cause, and now I would once again have to kill after so many years. Glancing down at the man, I let out a sigh. Carlisle would be so disappointed.

I placed my hands on the sides of his head, the man letting out an earsplitting scream that shook the very air around us. It made no difference to my ears, but his frantic emotions were clawing away at my core.

"I'm sorry". I muttered softly, jerking my hands sharply in a circle, listening to each vertebrate cracking. His heart began to twitter to a stop, each pulse pulling me deeper into my guilt.

I released his limp body slowly, watching it fall heavily to the ground as I closed my eyes. Turning away, I faced my body to Maria as the new born leaped out past me at the body on the concrete. I sighed heavily, feeling Maria approaching me. Her hand touched lightly against my shoulder, her lips brushing across my ear as she spoke.

"Very good Jasper. Perhaps you are not as much a lost cause as I first believed". She sang in her otherworldly tone before she drifted back to the body, shoving the new born away with a hiss as she began to feed.

* * *


	12. Chapter 12 Bluff

The days were impossibly long, painfully long. She sat for hours at a time, her family never far as they awaited Jasper's next call. A week, two weeks, three, when would he call?

Alice clenched the phone tightly in her hand, her eyes squeezed shut.

So many frightening images flashed across her mind, usually she was able to ignore them but now every one was crucial to her sanity. She cringed as more painful ones arose, testing her very fragile faith. Without him near it made every vision a sick possibility.

She gasped allowed as a particularly horrifying one appeared, Jasper and Maria fighting for control beside a tower of flames. She saw herself attacking Maria's back, the vicious vampire knocking her back effortlessly. Jasper struck at her and she caught his hand, spinning him away into the wall of the house the fire was devouring. She stared them both down darkly, walking swiftly at Jasper with her hands at her sides.

She screamed as the vision ended, her hands clasped tightly over her ears.

Edward was at her side immediately, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. "It's alright. It's okay Alice". He sang, leaning her head into his chest as Carlisle studied them silently.

No one in the room dare speak, each knowing what their sweet Alice had seen. Her face was a dead giveaway, all too telling of the horror of her visions.

"Jasper." Alice muttered into Edward's shoulder as she closed her eyes.

* * *

I waited in silence as Maria killed, standing like a soldier with arms folded outside of the house she hunted in. I searched the dark streets, my eyes passing through the shadows that the streetlamps could not disperse.

It seemed like a nightmare, waiting as hours ticked by until finally I could see her again. I wanted to glance down at the phone in my pocket, to see her face staring back at me from the screen. Her sweet smile, illuminated by the tiny lights in the phone. No. Not now. Maria would see, she would know. She would sense everything and flee to make more newborns.

I sighed heavily, listening to the silent cries of pain of her victims. This was too much. Why did I ever allow myself to be swayed by her? I should have seen through her tricks, fought her, stayed with Alice.

A hand appeared on my shoulder, a grasp all too familiar to me.

"We're ready love". She whispered, her breath flowing into my ear.

"Don't call me that". I hissed to her as she smirked.

"Oh". She sang, her eyes glittering with dark enthusiasm. "Is that what _she_ calls you? Your little Alice"?

I growled deeply, my hand closing around her throat as I slammed her back against the wall. "Don't you dare say her name". I muttered shakily, my facade fading. It didn't matter, she was never going to say Alice's name!

"How passionate you are". She snickered as a police cruiser pulled to a stop, the cop stepping onto the sidewalk a few feet from us. "Go ahead!" She laughed, looking at him quickly. "Kill him! No one will no! It would be easy, snap his neck and burn his body!" Her head tilted to the side as she stared up at me. "Do you remember what it's like? To kill freely without conscience? Or has your little Alice robbed you of that"?

"I've killed plenty. My scars show just how many of our kind I've killed, I could break you in half and be out of here in less than an hour. It would be simple." I squeezed her throat, my fingers tightening on the bones in her neck. "I could be free of all of this! I wouldn't have to serve someone like you a second longer"! I hissed through my teeth at her.

"And who then would control the newborns? Not you. Will you let them go free? Unleash them like a plague on man kind? No. No you won't."

"Release her"! The cop yelled, his hand quivering on the gun he had pointed at me.

"Then do it, if you think you can". She muttered darkly, her hands dropping to her sides. "Don't tell stories, kill me! Do what you were born to do!"

"I said let go! Or I'll shoot!" The cop screamed, his eyes glittering with fear and anger.

"Kill him.." She whispered, her eyes turning in her head. "Do it.. You know that you can. So simple, effortless really. And so very quick."

I could hear her voice in my head, not Maria's but Alice's. She whispered to me, gave me my strength, not to kill but to fight. I dropped my hand from Maria's neck, looking at the police officer slowly.

"That's what I thought. All that power and no will to use it. It's a shame". Maria bit out as she flew behind the cop, snapping his neck and taking his gun. She held it out to me, balancing it perfectly on her finger. "Don't you wish you could kill me so easily? Bang!" She shouted as I looked away. "Humans have it so easy, vulnerable and unable to fight back. But I suppose you're not very different from them after all." She slid the gun into the loop of her belt and stormed away.

I stared after her as she walked into the street, two new borns appearing from the alley and flanking her on either side.

I closed my eyes, turning away from the officer's dead body and his abandoned vehicle. Breaking into a sprint, I flew down the street. I leaped high into the air, landing on the roof tops lightly as I disappeared into the night.


	13. Chapter 13 Tempting Fate

Maria came to me later that night, appologizing and embracing me. I knew it wasn't genuine, it never was with her. I had experienced years of this behavior from her. The viciousness of her words and then the tenderness of her embraces and kisses. I was over it.

I stared placidly down at her as she leaned against my chest, muttering softly about her 'frustrations' and insecurities with me. I ignored her words, turning my gaze over the top of her head toward the dark hills of the desert.

I craved Alice desperately right now, and it was so painful.

Alice was real. She was kind. Honest, loving, tender, everything that Maria was not.

Why had I ever come here? Truthfully what has it gotten me? I relived a life as Maria's minion and it was just slowly picking away at my faith.

But soon. I had to believe that soon I would see Alice again. It wouldn't be long now.

The new borns were dwindling, leaving only five under Maria's control. I just had to keep showing Alice my progress and then it would be safe for her to come. There would soon come that day when I'd see my sweet angel standing side by side with my family members on the horizon. Soon I'd be free. I just needed to cling to my faith.

"Come with me Jasper." She whispered taking my hand and turning me away with her. Together we walked back into the city, her newborn guards flanking her.

* * *

Alice and Esme were sitting on the porch watching the leaves fall soundlessly from the trees. Alice had her hands folded in a steeple under her chin, her eyes glazed over. She sorted through the different visions Jasper was sending her, carefully she analyzed each of his decisions. But with everything she was seeing, she wasn't seeing what she needed to. It could have been a few more weeks til the right moment.

But still.. A few weeks might as well have been a few years.

She jumped as a vision hit her, it was Jasper and Maria in an embrace, Jasper's arms wrapped tightly around Maria. Their lips brushed briefly as Jasper's fingers laced through her hair.

Alice whimpered softly, Esme placing a hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright". Esme sang into her ear.

Alice shook her head, her eyes turning toward the sky. "I just want him back here. I can't stand it anymore."

"I know". Esme said softly, her head bowing against Alice's shoulder. "I know dear. You know he wants to be here just as much if not more than you want him here".

Alice nodded swiftly, her eyes squeezing tightly closed as she softly cried. "I can't take it anymore Esme, truly I can't".

* * *

Maria led me to a house in the suburbs, locking me in a house as she killed. I again wanted to flee, but could not. Her newborns were guarding each exit of the house, and Maria had her victims whimpering and pleading in front of me.

"Jasper". She whispered, her head turning in my direction.

She had a child clenched in her arms, a young girl, barely eight years old. The girl was covered in splattered blood, down the the very feet of her pajama's. She looked up at Maria as she stroked the top of her head. "I have saved her for you Jasper." Maria said lightly, her fingers brushing along her jaw. "So young. Fragile, tender, breakable skin, fresh blood ripe for the taking." She shifted the child on her lap, taking her tiny arms in her hands. She tugged on her wrists, making the girl like a puppet. "Come on Jasper."

"I won't". I said looking softly at the child, trying to calm her and cease her whimpering. "I may support you in this fruitless pursuit of power, only to save my family, but I will not slay a child".

"Oh really. Then her sister, you shall slay her". Maria muttered placing the girl on the bed as she danced toward the older girl tied to the foot of the bed.

"Alicia"! The child screamed, her tiny hand outstretched toward her sister.

"Helen stay there"! The girl called out as Maria closed her hand on her neck. "Don't be afraid, I won't let them hurt you"!

Maria laughed softly, her eyes narrowing. "Do not promise the child such a thing. You are powerless to stop either of us. My friend here is not as weak as he may appear. He could snap your spine without the slightest effort."

Her frightened eyes turned to me as I shook my head. "I will not kill you."

"Do not lie Jasper! You long for her blood!"

"I have had years of abstaining from blood, I will not falter now. Not by your hand".

"Oh Jasper. Such wasted years they were". She cupped the girl's cheek lightly. "Humans die at the hands of humans every day. Serial killers, rapists, thieves, all partake in killing for their own selfish desires. Are we no different than they? Of course with our strength and heightened senses we are, but do we not enjoy the kill as they do? One might say we are the ultimate serial killer, enjoying each kill and drowning in the euphoria of taking another creature's life. But our powers are not given to us through weapons or drugs, through deception or anything else. Our gifts are divinely given, treasures bestowed upon us by God. And thus to waste such gifts is blasphemy. Do as you were born to do," She took the girl's hair in her hand, forcing her to look up at me. "Abandon this period of abstinence and fulfill your purpose on this world."

I stared at her silently not as apphalled as I should have been, I'd heard this speech before. "Whether given to me by God or the devil, these gifts were not meant to slay children."

"But you will slay their parents? As you had done in the past? You didn't care about who you slayed, mothers, fathers, poor, rich, why differentiate now?"

I shook my head slowly, my eyes turning to the ground. "Because these people have something to live for. They have lives, pasts, families, destinies to fulfill, who am I to decide their fates"?

"Then decide the fate of one of them." Maria said with an evil smirk. "The little one, or the older one. Choose who shall live and who shall be one of us".

I looked at her aghast, my lips quivering. "You're insane. You speak of making an immortal child of her?" I yelled throwing my hand out to the little girl. "You know what that will bring on and what will come of it! What the hell are you trying to prove"?!

"I relish a challenge"! Maria muttered gliding to the little girl who backed away into the head board.

"Don't!" The sister screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Kill me! Let her go please! She's so little, let her go!"

"Oh yes. Little she is. Young and vulnerable." Maria whispered grabbing the girl's small arm tightly. "As she will be for an eternity, if my partner so chooses to make her. And long it will have been when she finally realizes what she has become."

"Please!" The older sister whimpered, looking up at me pleadingly. "Please don't kill her"!

"I won't.." I said as Maria laughed loudly.

"You won't, but I will"! Maria said sinking her teeth into the child's neck before I had a chance to stop her. After few harrowing moments filled with the older sister's screams and the child's cries, the little girl fell limply onto the bed. Her eyes rolled backward, red pupils turning to the ceiling.

"You bitch"! I screamed, grabbing Maria's collar and throwing her to the ground.

"Oh Jasper, how very gentlemanly of you"! She laughed pushing me back roughly.

We spun for a moment as I lifted Maria off her feet, slamming her into the glass window. She laughed darkly, her eyes turned over her shoulder at the bed. "It's only a matter of time now Jasper," She looked up me smoothly. "Soon this child will be an immortal, and you know just what kind of attention she will attract."

"You have doomed us all! Why do such a thing if you mean to conquer? You and every immortal in the vicinity will be slain!"

She looked at me wickedly, her eyes narrowing. "You thought I was stupid did you? Well all you have done will be for nothing! If your precious family comes they will be slain along with us, you've sealed your fate when you went against me. And now... Now what you have done cannot be undone". She broke away from me, collecting the tiny child into her arms gently. "Let's see if your lovely psychic sees that coming".


	14. Chapter 14 In Your Eyes

"She's insane"! Alice screamed, jolting into an upright position.

"What"?! Everyone said in unison, edging toward Alice as she shook her head.

"I can't even believe if what I just saw really happened.. There's no way she could be that reckless".

"What? What'd she do"? Emmett said cracking his knuckles as Rosalie sighed.

Alice quivered slightly, blinking several times as she shook her head. "It's really... She did something no one could have seen coming, not even Jasper". She ran her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes tightly. Looking up slowly, she locked eyes with Carlisle. "She made an immortal child".

The air fell silent, with the exception of Reneesme's quick breathes.

Edward rubbed his hand over his chin, shaking his head. "What the hell is she thinking"?

"She's planning on taking everyone she can down with her." Carlisle said folding his arms. "She's obviously desperate, and suspicious of Jasper's intentions. She isn't going to risk losing him again, and knowing Jasper he wouldn't leave the child in her hands."

"Well what would be his plan then? Bring her back here?" Rosalie smiled warmly at Reneesme before looking back up at Carlisle. "I think we've dealt with enough thus far. It's bad enough to be accused of making an immortal child when you didn't, but then to have one here.. No. No way. He'd never endanger our family like that." She hissed leaning backward against Emmett.

"No. Of course he wouldn't." Carlisle said shakily, his tone uncertain. "I know Jasper is empathetic, but he's by no means stupid. He'd never endanger our family over a child..But".

"He can't"! Rosalie said jolting up to a sitting position. "Jasper would never! Right"? She said looking at Alice sharply.

Alice shook her head, her eyes shutting tightly as she placed a quivering hand on her chin. "Jasper's rational side would obviously tell him to leave. Return home immediately and fight to protect us from the repercussions of her actions.." Alice sighed heavily, her head bowing. "But Jasper is of course very sympathetic, so therefore wouldn't knowingly abandon her to die".

"This is just ridiculous". Esme said angrily embracing Alice. "She has no comprehension of what she's doing."

"Of course she does. Maria is by no means stupid. Reckless yes, but not stupid." Edward muttered softly as he looked at Bella.

"I hope he's alright." She whispered looking around the room slowly. "And that poor child. I hope she's okay too".

* * *

My body was shaking, every nerve was on fire. I looked carefully around me for a moment, unsure what to do. Never had I been so speechless, never had I witnessed something so reckless and selfish. But then again it was Maria. Quickly I darted out the window, dropping onto the street just as Maria strode out the door.

"I hope you rot a thousand times over in hell". I hissed at her as she smirked.

"Oh. This is what? The thousandth time you've cursed me? Do try to become more creative dear". She leaned the child's head against her shoulder as she shook her head.

"I cannot allow this atrocity to continue a second longer". I reached out to the little girl, my fingers just about to touch her hair when her head snapped up.

Crazed, crimson eyes burned beneath thick lashes, as a guttural, feline hiss escaped her tiny lips.

"It's alright little one". Maria cooed, patting the top of her head lightly. There was something sickly motherly about her demeanor. This little demon was cradled in her arms, a manic glare in her glowering red eyes. Her small arms wrapped around Maria's neck as her lips brushed in her dark hair.

We walked swiftly down the road, Maria cradling her little spawn and I beside, disgusted and still speechless.

Surely Alice would know after seeing this happening and need answers to her questions. I brushed my fingertips along my pocket, following the shape of the cell phone. If only.. No. Not now.

I glanced back at Maria as she walked in front of me, the small child glaring at me from over her shoulder.

So evil she looked.. No wonder our kind was forbidden from making immortal children. The dark gift brought out the sinister nature hiding behind their soft, innocent features. And her eyes.. They suddenly held such a wealth of knowledge behind them. But knowledge of what? Did she know how powerful she was? How she could slaughter this entire town without a second thought? Did she know what Maria had done to her, to her family? No. I suppose she wouldn't put that together until it was too late for her. When she burned in the great fires of the Volturi.

A shiver rippled up my spine as she lifted her hand, gently curling Maria's hair around her finger. So innocent, so decieving. I pity the human who fell under that childlike gaze.

I took a long breath, shutting my eyes and turned away from her glare.

I couldn't shake the bubbling feeling in my gut. What was it? Anxiousness? Fear? No.. It was outwardly driven. Like someone trying to enter my stomach from the other side of my skin. Opening my eyes I looked up, meeting the gaze of the child, and suddenly the feeling .. Faltered. As her gaze pulled away it disappeared all together.

This.. This situation.. It could only end badly..

* * *

**So it's taken me a little while to update but I finally did it. :) I was kinda inspired to make the child after Claudia for any of you who've read the Anne Rice books (interview with a vampire. I loved the books Mrs. Rice.) anyway it was a little short but I feel it served it's purpose for right now. **

**Review or Message me and tell me what you think. **

**Updates for my other stories are coming soon.  
**

**And for everyone who has read my story 'I'll be your crying shoulder' theres an update up right now if you want to check it out. It's still in the first, second draft phase. Mostly just a test run right now. So anyway.. Check it out and review please. **

**thanks for reading everyone! **

**ANU**


	15. Chapter 15 Falling Apart

Jasper:

I had never witnessed such destruction, such reckless killing by one so small. As the nights went on since her birth, the child Maria made and named Diablo, massacred the small New Mexico town we inhabited. No one was spared, and not bullets or threats stopped her rampage. Eliminating the police force too virtually no skill, and Diablo smiled upon the corpses of the officers wickedly.

I felt a shiver crawl up my spine, and it shocked me to the core. Never had I felt such fear. It was no wonder the making of immortal children was strictly prohibited. I myself have witnessed the chaos unleashed by such an act.

How could Alice and the other's come now? Surely the Volturi would become aware of this child in the coming weeks and they would arrive swiftly. I could not endanger my family, I'll be damned if I should let such a thing happen.

Again that feeling returned to me, and I turned toward the child, who was watching me silently.

Her small hands hung at her sides, as her dark eyes peered out at me with contempt. As she turned away, it left me breathless and terrified. Such power. I had to stop my hands from trembling by thrusting them into my pockets. I wouldn't let her know I feared her.

Maria on the hand didn't fear her in the least. And why should she? Diablo was the picture of childlike innocence whenever she was near Maria. Smiling and cuddling close to her, turning her gaze from wicked to angelic in a matter of moments. How despicable. And Maria couldn't have been any the more blind. She thought of this child as a protege, and she might as well have been made of her own flesh and blood.

But in these moments of immense darkness, my mind couldn't help but wander to thoughts of Alice. And though I knew Maria knew I was thinking of her, I didn't care. Nothing she could say could draw me away from thoughts of her. But what had finally sent me wavering over the edge of sanity was her remark about how I shouldn't dwell on thoughts of my soon to be dead mate. That.. Well that had an effect on me that any one of my family members would have expected, and Maria, I saw the first glimmer of fear in her eyes when I rounded on her and slammed her skull into the cement sidewalk.

Now my mind was consumed with the many millions of ways I could make her suffer for saying such things about my Alice. And no one, not even her precious little demon spawn, would be able to stop me from ripping off her head in the final moments of her wreched life.

* * *

The room was in silence as the family sat watching Alice in her trance. Rosalie was perched beside the window, her hand clenched shakily to her arm as she sighed against the glass. Bella and Edward were sitting on the floor as Emmett paced around anxiously. Esme sat beside Alice on the couch, looking sadly upon her family, longing for her blond haired adopted son whom she loved so dearly.

Alice let out a frustrated sigh, closing her eyes tightly against the strain in her head. Edward felt it also, pressing his fingers into his temples as Bella patted his back lightly.

"This is fricken ridiculous"! Emmett suddenly burst out, striking the wall with his fist, leaving a gaping hole in it's place.

"Emmett"! Esme scolded, giving him a rueful glare. "I hope you plan on fixing that"!

"Sorry". Emmett growled, turning away sharply. "I can't stand this!" I shouted looking around quickly. "All this waiting! This suffering, and for what? Let's just go down there and over power her and all her godforesaken little newborns already"!

"She will know and flee, it would be pointless." Alice said solemly as she kept her eyes trained away from him.

"Let her then! Let her flee, and get captured by the Volturi! I don't know why Jasper hasn't already ripped her fucken face apart already-"

"Enough Emmett"! Edward suddenly yelled, glaring up at him. "This whining isn't going to do anything ! We need a plan otherwise we risk losing one or ALL the people in this room"!

"Easy for you to say Edward... Always gotta have a _plan_.. Can't walk out the fucken door without thinking every little damn thing out! God knows it took you fucken forever to do something about Bella"! Emmett snapped as Edward leaped to his feet.

"You think this is easy for me?!" Edward roared in Emmett's face as Bella sought out to grab his clenched fists. "To just sit back and watch Alice suffer, knowing her every thought? Or to walk past their empty bedroom, expecting to see Jasper strolling out any moment with a book clasped in his hand? To let my brother suffer for all of us at the hands of a demon from his past and do nothing?! Well it is by no means _easy_ and I'll be damned if I let you speak to me like that again"!

"Well fucken do something about it". Emmett growled towering over Edward as Bella shot to her feet.

"Stop it"! She cried coming in between them, one slender hand on Edward's chest and the other on Emmett's. "This isn't what Jasper would have wanted! No way would he have allowed you two to act like two hot headed idiots on his account"! She glared at both of them as they remained glaring at each other.

"Knock it off Em"! Rosalie screamed, storming toward him. "You don't see Alice flying off the handle! And she's his mate"!

Alice closed her hands around her ears, leaning her forehead against her knees as her eyes shut.

Esme was off the couch a second later, waving a stiff finger at all of them and screaming like no one had ever seen before.

Slowly and shakily, Alice wrapped her arms around her legs, muttering against her sleeves. "Please.. Please Jazz.. Just come home.." she whimpered as the once silent air became filled with her sibling's agitated voices.

* * *

**Thanks everyone for your kind reviews! I can't tell you how happy I was to see them in my email. I am so greatful and really wanted to make a chapter and put it up as soon as possible. **

**Thank you for all your support for this story and the others. **

**Please keep tuned in as this story will progressively get better and more dramatic.**

**Thanks again and hope to hear from you guys some more. **

**Anu**


	16. Chapter 16 Taking Action

Alice:

I looked up slowly as the arguing continued, each of my siblings trying desperately to reel the others in. Or yell over each other, it was hard to tell. I saw Esme's face twist with unspoken pain, as she looked from Edward to Emmett helplessly. Suddenly she stepped in between them, gently pushing Bella to the side. Lifting her small hand, I watched in shock as she swung around, slapping Emmett's cheek before rounding on Edward, planting an open plam smack on his pale cheek. Silence fell over the room.

"Stop this! Right now you stop it"! She screamed, her chest heaving as she looked at both of them.

Edward and Emmett were awestruck, as were Bella and Rosalie. None of us could have seen this coming from Esme of all people. And even though the slap didn't do much to either of their faces, it stuck them in a different way.

"Jasper would not tolerate this! Now you stop it this instant"! Esme cried loudly. If she could cry, tears would be rolling down her cheeks in waves. I couldn't help but gape at her, and apparently no one else could either because that's all everyone did. I think even Jacob and Seth heard the smack from their place in the trees. "Now when Carlisle comes home we will discuss this one last time. And a decision WILL be made today. But until then, stop this bickering!" She looked weakly as Edward as he nodded smoothly. "I know you all love Jasper, and want him back, but snapping at each other will accomplish NOTHING"! She yelled looking up at Emmett as he nodded swiftly. She let out a little huff, the one that always followed after an outburst such as this, her way of calming herself down. I watched her turn away slowly, shielding her face with her hand as she walked into the kitchen.

Rosalie took Emmett's arm in hers, gently muttering in his ear before taking him upstairs. Bella took Edward in the opposite direction, leaving me all alone. At least if Jasper was here-

I leaned my chin against my leg, shutting my eyes tightly. Oh Jasper.. If he was here no one would be fighting.. He wouldn't let them. Esme was right and so was Bella.. No way would Jasper let Edward and Emmett go at it like they were. He was our rock, even if no one else realized it until now.. He kept everyone sane and even without his gift, his presence was still calming.

My chest ached, as if a hand was twisting my heart. I had this feeling once before, long ago when I'd almost lost hope of finding Jasper or the Cullens. When I was alone not knowing just what I had become. I thought these feelings of loneliness would disappear when I found him, and they did, until now..

As if by fate my pocket began vibrating. I snapped my phone out of my pocket, not even bothering to look at the caller ID, it would only be one person. Only one person in the world worth talking to.

"Jasper". I said as my heart suddenly unclenched at the sound of his voice.

* * *

Jasper:

Her voice was like heaven, with all the purity of an angel. "Alice". I whispered back, feeling her smile through the phone.

"Jaz, how are you"?

"Fine love. I'm fine.. Actually I shouldn't say that-"

"I know Jaz, it's so stupid what she is doing. She's insane to do such a thing".

"I know love. I won't let her take me down, no matter what I will see you again." I felt her relief in her sigh and suddenly felt the need to ask. "How is everyone"? There was a moment of silence, which I automatically knew all was not well.

"Jaz it isn't.." She paused, and I could picture her putting her hand over her mouth and closing her eyes. "Everyone.. They're so scared. They don't know what to do, and Emmett, Edward.." She sighed.. "It's just getting difficult Jasper."

I knew it. The two hot heads of the house were fighting.. As they would. Emmett was all about acting first thinking later, Edward the opposite. No doubt they were in conflict over what would be best for the family. And it was my fault, if I hadn't-

"Jaz it isn't your fault". She said softly.

"Al it is.. I shouldn't have-" I had an unsettling feeling forming in my gut, and felt the need to look over my shoulder.

"Jasper, she's coming." She muttered softly. "I love you. We're coming for you.. There's nothing you can say. Alright? I love you I'll see you soon". She whispered before I had a chance to say anything more than 'love you too'.

Lowering the phone from my ear, I slid it quickly back into my pocket. I turned slowly backward, staring into the deep eyes of Diablo as she stood a few feet away from me.

Her gaze was so vacant of emotion, so lifeless. But suddenly she smiled wickedly, the sinister smile reaching the corner of her eyes. Then she was gone, leaving nothing but a sickening chill all around me. Carefully I composed myself, making my face as blank as possible before I started up the road back to our hideout.

* * *

"We need to get down there"! Alice said, jumping to her feet.

"What's happened"? Emmett said as he appeared at the top of the stairs, Rosalie a few steps behind him.

"Maria is going to mobilize her new borns and ambush a small group of Volturi scouts residing in Mexico."

"What"?! Edward said flashing to her side as Esme appeared in the room a second later.

"Yes. She's desperate and believes this kid as some kind of gift that will give her an advantage,"

"We're getting him out now, tell him to meet us somewhere, and if that bitch shows up", Emmett muttered, as Edward nodded.

"I'll call Carlisle, we can meet him at the hospital." Edward said stepping out the door onto the porch as Esme watched him leave.

"I'm going too". She said sternly as everyone looked at her.

"Esme you don't-" Rosalie began as esme shot her a dark look.

"I won't let you all face this alone.. Besides Jasper is family and deserves nothing less". She folded her arms tightly as everyone fell silent.

"Finally we're doing something". Emmett said excitedly, punching the air enthusiastically as Rosalie rolled her eyes. "That bitch is going down!"

* * *

**So another chapter complete. Hope you all enjoyed it! Please review! and I'll update soon. **

**Anu**


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